Satirical look into the crystal ball (2/2): What will happen in electric motorsport in 2024
e-Formula.news takes another look into the crystal ball in this second part of our annual satirical article to predict what is most likely to happen in the new year (to part 1). While Formula E struggles with familiar problems, new competition is emerging on the electric scene... Please note: All stories in this text are fictitious!
Formula E arrives in bella Italia in mid-April. Two races are to be held in idyllic Misano. Sure, everyone kind of misses Rome. But it's much quieter and more relaxed here. A few boozehounds from the Adriatic coast make their way to the race. Apart from them, only those directly involved are at the track. But hey - as a TV product, the double-header would still have potential - if someone was still broadcasting: A total of 16,458 overtaking manoeuvres happen at the E-Prix!
Formula E celebrates itself for this achievement and issues a press release. However, it fails to mention that the infamous "waving by" has reached a new dimension: all 22 drivers only briefly step on the electric pedal every few seconds to save energy as it is impossible to slipstream when not moving. When the race is waved off after one lap and 120 minutes, Porsche can celebrate the next double victory thanks to the outstanding efficiency of the 99X Electric.
There was good news on another front: Alejandro Agag is inviting all his friends - a top 500 of the greatest villains in contemporary history - to join him on his yacht. There, with his usual charm, he introduces them to his new baby: the FIA World Championship Extreme H. After a wild party, all 500 guests call their old, white friends at the car manufacturers and rave about the new hydrogen world championship. Over the next few weeks, numerous manufacturers sign up for Extreme H, including Nissan and DS. At this point, nobody realises that hydrogen SUV racing will be just as boring as Extreme E.
McLaren benefits from Bird expertise
In the second half of the Formula E season, Sam Bird impresses across the board with his new McLaren team: he crashes into his team-mate Jake Hughes in each of the remaining races. Nick Cassidy takes tips from the Brit because he fails to dominate his new Kiwi team-mate Mitch Evans in the second Jaguar.
Good for Envision that the works drivers are taking points away from each other. Robin Frijns therefore regularly finishes on the podium, at least when he is not also being shot down by his chronically ill-treated team-mate Sebastien Buemi.
The season is drawing to a close - finally only double headers left! And fortunately, two of them are to be held on permanent racetracks. As expected, the next slipstream battles take place at the Portland E-Prix. Porsche dominates once again. The first title is now in reach for the German car giant. However, everything is set to change at the finale in London...
Genius Porsche coup by Andretti & ERT
The private team ERT secretly puts a Porsche sticker on their car before the E-Prix - a little tip from Andretti team principal Roger Griffiths... As the sun is shining over England for once, the hall floor is extremely watered this time, as is usually only the case in Extreme E. The Mickey Mouse circuit at the ExCeL is a real rollercoaster. Allan McNish is on site as a TV expert and sprints up and down the pit lane. Felix da Costa and Wehrlein receive hefty time penalties without the FIA giving a reason. A protest is not allowed. Debacle for Porsche!
The inevitable happens: both the Porsche customer teams - Andretti and ERT - finish just ahead of the works team in the overall standings. Frijns becomes drivers' world champion and is booed because he is not British. Regardless of this, Jake Dennis is placed on a throne and used for PR purposes for the next five months. Shortly before Christmas, Porsche announces its premature withdrawal from Formula E. Sister brand Cupra takes over.